The generator from hell

©2015 Lydia Hinshaw

Don't camp next to one of these

Our new neighbors' generator purrs softly

 ANACORTES, WA -- Our weekend was nearly ruined by a campground neighbor, a jovial fellow who began offering us fresh-caught crab before he'd even gotten his rig parked in the spot next door.

 We declined with thanks, as we have no means of cooking anything that requires boiling more than 16 ounces of water on a tiny backpacker's stove.

 Later, he offered us prawns, and we gave the same answer.  We soon figured out that what he was really offering were bribes to get us to put up with his generator.

 His trailer was not of the camping sort, but rather a long box that might be used to carry several motorcycles.

 But what he had in there was a freezer, to preserve the shellfish he'd come here from Nevada to collect.  There is no electricity in the campground, and so he needed a generator.  Many recreational vehicles have generators, but they are small ones that are designed to run quietly, and usually the hours they can be used are restricted.  They can be annoying, but nothing compared to this one.

 This generator was designed for an industrial situation where workers are required to wear ear protection.  It was loud.  Positioned perhaps 10 feet from where the Prince and I liked to enjoy the evenings in our camp chairs, it made conversation impossible.  It completely overwhelmed my earplugs, which have enabled me to sleep through many a campground party.

 The Magic Bus might as well have been parked on a factory floor.

 The good news was that it didn't run all the time.  Our neighbor would come in from his fishing expedition, add his catch to the freezer, fire up the generator, get back in his truck and go out to dinner for 90 minutes, leaving the rest of us to enjoy the din.  Sunday morning, he started the thing at 6 a.m., although he did turn it off without argument when the Prince got out of bed to complain.

 This campground doesn't have any rules that we've seen written down, and until Generator Man came long, that had been fine.  Everyone else has shown a proper amount of consideration for fellow campers.

 If you do enough camping, however, some entitled jerk like this is bound to cross your path.  Without question, he was in the top two most obnoxious neighbors we've ever encountered, in the hundreds of nights we've camped since we bought the Magic Bus six years ago.  (The other one was a loud drunk providing no supervision to his four loud kids.)

 Not long after the 6 a.m. generator incident, we visited the harbor master's office, explained the situation and asked if we could move to another site, as far as possible from Generator Man.  The staff was very accommodating.  We were able to move to the other side of the marina's parking lot, as far as possible from the noisemaker.

 Our only neighbors on this unmarked patch of grass are "camping" in a 50-foot luxury motorcoach that is too big to fit into one of the marked campsites we'd left.

 By lunchtime Monday, Generator Man and his frozen shellfish had departed. We don't miss him at all.